he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
