In the future we'll all be gay
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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