the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
