so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize