I love black thongs
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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