3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
