So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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