I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
