Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
