glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
