i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize