Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
