He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
