are you still at the devil's house?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize