Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
