You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
