Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
