Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
