What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
smell my finger.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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