Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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