no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
