well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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