i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
