Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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