garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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