i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
