You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
