Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
