so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i will never coherently bang her
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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