K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
