the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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