i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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