just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
