Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize