all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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