Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
