And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
