She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
