She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
