Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
