i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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