The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize