Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
