member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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