I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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