First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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