She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
