First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
