return my video game
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize