I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
