I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
