I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
