i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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