i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
