remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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