come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize