I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
