my soul wont recognize me after tonight
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
