just tell him i said nine months
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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