I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
