(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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