it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
