I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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