you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
